Yeah whatever you say
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the-radical-buzzard-of-discourse:
Despite the overwhelming amount of positivity on my take about why women are often unable to choose where to eat, many people have responded “OR she’s just not picky! OR she just wants to shoot down all my ideas! OR she’s just indecisive! It’s not that deep.”
Female socialization MAKES us more indecisive. We grow up being interrupted more. We grow up being discouraged from leading our peers for fear of being called stuck-up. We grow up with more restrictions on our movement and our activities. We grow up without the amount of attention and conversation that more disruptive boys often get from adults. We grow up with the knowledge that if we don’t defer to our friends’ preferences, we are dismissed as bossy and mean. Personally, I think that for many women, this means we have a hard time actually identifying if we have a preference at all (let alone what that preference actually is) because we are not in the habit of actually considering it. We’re so used to automatically deferring because we’ve done so all our lives, in fear of being inconsiderate or callous or bossy.
Often, when I’m asked about a preference of mine, my immediate thought is “I don’t feel like defending a choice, I just want to be agreeable and have a nice time, so whatever they want is okay. I don’t want to force the other person to have something they don’t want.” I have to literally force myself to take a second to actually think “Wait. If I could choose an option…what would I actually choose? What do I feel like right now?”
And sometimes I can’t even come up with one! And then I take another second and really consider each option. And I discover that I do in fact have a preference after all! If I had the choice all to myself, I know what I would pick. I’m not indecisive! I DO care!
We literally have to re-train ourselves to identify our preferences. And that’s fucked up.
Until I was in like third or fourth grade, I literally had no idea that there were types of music other than country because that’s what my dad liked and therefore that’s what the whole family had to listen to. It’s not like he was morally opposed to other genres or anything; he just had zero comprehension that we might enjoy something else. He liked it, so that’s all that mattered. Even though I found out years later that my mom doesn’t even particularly like country music, she still listened to it even when she was by herself because it was a habit and it was “just easier.” But as soon as my parents split up, she’d play classic rock and showtunes all the damn time because she was finally allowed to enjoy the music she actually liked. Turned out my dad complained and berated her and made fun of her taste for years before I was born, so eventually she just gave in and quietly listened to whatever he wanted.
To this day when I find myself making choices, I have to pause and think, “Do I really WANT to do this or am I just going along with it because it’ll make it easier to interact with someone else? Am I the one who’s actually interested in this or was it pushed on me?” And even with that learned self-awareness, I’m still surprised how often it’s the latter.
I worked on an all-female team on my last job and part of my daily duties was to get our team lunch. I’d ask everyone what they wanted everyday (sometimes I’d just suggest a place I wanted) and they’d ALL say “what’s everyone else getting?” Including the head decorator who makes creative executive decisions for a living lol .. I just find it fascinating. Doesn’t matter the age or position sometimes, it’s just so normal for all of us to defer our own preferences to someone else
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The Morning Visitor (1967)
Dino Buzzati
This piece is obviously about rape, man
This is what happens when you live in a society that teaches others that rape is consensual through porn and BDSM/Kink Culture. Now people cannot tell the difference between rape and sex— it’s all consensual to them.
Literally a single glance at the artwork is long enough to see the theme is rape and trauma. Kinksters must severely lack tact, respect, and dignity if they feel it’s okay to make comments like this given the context.
theres a fucking puddle of blood for godssakes…..
This is so scary
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this was cute until i realized the fish is probably trying to not get eaten
A fish trying not to get eaten wouldn’t slow down when the “predator” slows down. It also wouldn’t constantly swim in a circle near the edge of the tank; It’d try hiding. Also a fish in a tank in a a public place that is constantly filled with people is not likely to see people as predators.
Animals, I think people tend to forget, also enjoy playing.
yeah that fish is absolutely playing with that kid, if it really wanted to escape it would just dive into the reef in the center of the tank!
(Moorish Idols are reef fish and naturally will seek shelter in the nearest nook or cranny if they get scared.)
many people don’t realize this, but fish aren’t stupid animals! most of them are on par with mammals like mice and squirrels in terms of intelligence, and they absolutely do play.
I was at an aquarium a few years ago and decided to sketch a fish. It came up to me.
I decided to flip the book around and pressed it against the glass. Fish lost it
Swam away then came back with MORE FISH
to this day I love those little sketches and I really love how I got the fish to bring me it’s friends
Hi! Professional marine biologist and aquarist here- fish absolutely play, and not only that, can be trained.
I accidentally trained a fish once through playing.
Let me explain.
The small-time aquarium I worked at about 4 years ago had a decent sized female Sheephead. Sheephead are bright red with the males sporting a black head, and get big. I’m talking almost 1m long at full maturity (and may or may not transition from female to male depending on the number of males present). Point is, even though not fully matured, this Sheephead was a bit of a heavyweight in her kelp forest tank with a length of about 1ft making her the resident Biggest Dog In The Yard. And she absolutely knew it. She would bully her tankmates if she wanted to steal their food.
The thing about this Sheephead- let’s call her Red- is that she had one heck of a ‘tude. Red was known to splash aquarists whenever they fed the tank, and at almost a foot long with a wide tail, her splashes had quite a bit of heft and would soak you from the torso down. We were advised to bring a towel or two to protect ourselves from most of the drenching. When it was my go-around to feed Red’s tank, I was fairly new to the little facility, but I had been warned in advance of Red’s penchant for food thievery. I noticed she would follow my hand movements, so I slowly moved to drop her food in a far corner, and fed her tankmates directly from my hands or by tong if they were too deep. I always made sure Red had plenty to eat, but I didn’t want her to associate the food with bad behavior, so I treated her to a bit extra food whenever she didn’t steal food. One day, she made a beeline to the surface so fast that she did a small jump, her entire head breaching the water. She wasn’t bothering her tankmates or doing anything remotely dangerous- and full disclosure, it was cute seeing a fish jump for joy- so I laughed and gave her another piece of food.
Naturally, positive reinforcement led to her connecting the dots that jumping at the surface, even the tiny jumps she was doing, meant she got more food.
This started to become an everyday occurrence, whenever I was assigned to feed Red’s tank. She would jump, just enough for her head to pop out, then she’d wait patiently for me to give her the treat she CLEARLY earned. It even got to the point that she’d open her mouth and I’d drop the food right into those massive jaws- this was preferable to her Kenghis Khan-ing her way through a shower of chopped squid like the Tasmanian Devil, as there was less risk of her accidentally (or purposefully) biting a tankmate that got too close. Red became a polite eater for the first time.
It wasn’t until I noticed she followed me around outside of feeding time that I realized Red was playing with me.
I never got splashed by Red even once. My coworkers, however, received quite the dunking whenever it was their turn to feed the kelp tank.
There are many benefits to being a marine biologist
(via kjuares)
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You know that Jenny Slate thing where she’s like “I had to unfollow NASA on Instagram because it made me too crazy”? That’s how this video makes me feel. Like… Plants really just Do That huh.
(via deadlysunlight)
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Something I’ve been thinking about lately in the “choose my battles” department. Yes, most women are still pressured to wear makeup, shave, and in general conform to femininity. And while I still don’t support the industries that push for that, I recognize that they’re so ingrained that I may not see a significant change regarding performed femininity in my lifetime.
But.
What I am seeing, actively, is women entering STEM and law in droves. Women vote in greater numbers and rates every year. Women are waiting to get married, waiting to have children, leaving shitty husbands, and staying single after divorce more now than ever. Women are demanding more emotional and household labor from their male partners and leaving when those demands are not met. Women are taking higher education by storm and outperforming men in every area. And that makes me so happy.
Does it still suck that women who wear makeup are still treated better? Of course. There will always be things to fight for and I won’t stop fighting. But I can be happy that the Barbie movie made so many women realize they need to break up with their boyfriend even though the Barbie movie wasn’t some feminist manifesto. I can be happy that dumb trends like “girl dinner” bring to light the fact that women aren’t ingrained with a desire to cook.
Idk I mean it doesn’t change anything about my beliefs but it does make me feel better about the ways feminism is progressing.
Some things still suck. A few things are getting worse. But a lot of things are getting better. And I love women for that.
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You were born of a sacrilegious union. Your green dragon mom never figured the knight she seduced while masquerading as a noblewoman was a silver dragon in disguise. You’d no idea either, born a human orphan. When your dragon blood awoke, so did the dangers which all your heritage entails.
“I was born half dragon.”
“Oh shit, what’s the other half?”
“Different dragon.
#“i’m two halfs dragon” “that’s just being a whole dragon” “no”
“im two halves dragon” “thats just being a whole dragon” “YOUD FUCKING THINK SO WOULDNT YOU”
(via kjuares)
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If transwomen are so much better at being women I think that transwomen should make their own spaces and leave us underwhelming, regular ass women the fuck alone.
if you’re so much better, why interact with us? 😳
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its been about 10 years since she showed me this but i am STILL thinking about how my (then) 4 year old cousin drew birds
OBSESSED with this creature; she draws the body from above/below and the head from the side, with a giant eyeball that takes up the entire head and never looks in a specific direction. in a very old-fashioned sense: iconic
Yeah I would have guessed this was on some ancient pottery or something
(via kjuares)
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my brother started calling our cat “doobie brother” which he then lengthened to “dubious brother” and has since morphed into “brother dubious” like he’s some sort of fucked up little monk
